Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Parallel Life

       The window creaked open inch by inch.She thought she could do it this time.If only it would open up a bit further.Wham!It flew open!The wind blew in fiercely and stirred up a mini storm in the loft.As the dust settled,rain drops splattered around the sheets covering the floorboard.The wind blew in her hair as she stretched out her arms to feel the raindrops pelting down. 
       The water washed over her fears as tears streamed down her face.What was it she was running away from?Her true desires,her true self.How could anything which made her happy be wrong for her or for anyone else for that matter?Why was she stopping herself from feeling what she was,from feeling the joy and warmth which enveloped her whenever she let herself go, forgetting the world and just being free from the bonds she had tied herself with?
       She felt she doesn't deserve the happiness she was getting.How could it even be possible?It was as if she's living someone else's life.It couldn't possibly be true.It would soon be over and she would have to return to her old life and then, it would kill her.
       But what if, what if this was real, what if this was meant to be and she was the one pulling away from her happiness because of her fears? What if she was giving away her one chance at love, at life, at happiness and was ruining it all because she was scared to admit what she truly wanted. Was it selfish to actually get what you want? Shouldn't she feel guilty about wanting it all?
       She was restless. She had everything, and yet, her heart wasn't at peace. Stealing moments like these seemed enough till the time she saw what else life had to offer. Part of her wished it had never happened. She was fine earlier but now she was happy, happier than she ever was but she prevented herself from admitting it. She couldn't let it get under her skin, no, as she wasn't sure herself.
       But that is all what she wanted.To be free. To love with all her heart even if she got hurt. She didn't want to live her entire life with regret thinking what could have been. She wanted to give her life one shot and keep stealing moments like these no matter how small, till they became hers and didn't seem like another life.
       The rain stopped. She could hear voices downstairs looking for her. She took one last deep breath and went down.
       This time she didn't close the window.